My life improved after one hour of listening to Dr. Weekes explain her approach to self-treating anxiety. My life will continue to improve as I practice her approach while navigating the pandemic and social upheaval.
You can learn about Dr. Weekes (1903-1990) in a new biography, The Woman Who Cracked the Anxiety Code, which I’ll blog about someday. Here, I’m highlighting key ideas about dealing with setbacks while trying to get to a better place emotionally. Weekes presented the insights in the context of overcoming what she calls “nervous illness,” a basket term that includes, panic, depression, sorrow, guilt, disgrace, obsession, sleeplessness, low confidence, loneliness, and agoraphobia. Her insights apply to efforts to be a Healthy Survivor, too.
Emotional reactions sometimes get in the way of (1) getting good care and (2) living as fully as possible. For example, fear can get in the way of reporting symptoms in a timely fashion.
Learning and practicing healthy responses helps. Weekes encourages you to perceive challenges as “practice” opportunities—and not as “tests.” If things don’t go as hoped this time, perceive your effort as practicing. Remind yourself that most new skills take a lot of practice before you become consistently good at them. Practice equals progress.
Nobody’s perfect. So-called setbacks happen—i.e., not responding the way you wish you had. Weekes says…
“Setbacks” don’t have to set you back. What we call setbacks may be times of growth. You can keep moving forward more confidently than before, thanks to new insights about both you and the obstacles that made it difficult to respond in healthy ways.
Setbacks are your friends. Instances of success bring peace and hope. Failures bring knowledge that can help you grow stronger and wiser.
Early success may not feel good. The first times you do something a better way, you may not experience peace and confidence, because the better way is unfamiliar. Unfamiliar feelings and experiences tend to cause discomfort at first, no matter how much you hoped and worked for them. You may need to experience repeated successes before you enjoy the peace and confidence that accompanies narrowing the gap between knowing what to do and doing it.
Dr. Hazel Claire Weeks
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