When Patients Hide the Ugly Side

What should you do if an ill loved one won’t respond to emails or texts because they want to hide their pain, sadness, debility, weakness? Forcing yourself on them will exacerbate their sense of loss of control. Leaving them alone, well, leaves them alone in their pain, sadness, debility, and weakness—not a good thing.

I’ve been on both sides of this dilemma.

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Princess Kate on Getting Back to Normal After Cancer

The Princess of Wales told the world via Instagram, “It is a relief to now be in remission, and I remain focused on recovery.” In her first major public statement since Kensington Palace released a video last fall, the Princess talked about completing cancer treatment.

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A Problem With the Cure Just Around the Corner

Millions of Americans live with diseases with no cure. Diabetes. Parkinsons. MS. Dementia. I imagine many of them experience nice people offering encouraging comments. such as, “I believe they’ll find a cure” or “A cure is just around the corner!” What could be wrong with that?

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Aiming for Perfection

When dealing with a health challenge, doing things perfectly will increase your chance of the best possible outcome. For anyone who likes to feel in control (who doesn’t?) and has perfectionist tendencies (ahem, that would include me), the desire to do things perfectly can create problems.

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An Ugly Side of Patienthood

My mom’s friend offered me a small tray of cookies. I took one look, and yelled, “No!” The next day, I felt ashamed that I’d bitten the hand of someone treating me with lovingkindness. The episode taught me that illness could make me mean, and I didn’t like that.

I forgave myself but didn’t forget it.

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Truly Informed Consent

When patients are prepped and ready to start a procedure, a medical professional presents a consent form to sign. That setting does not serve the purpose of informed consent. An experience long ago led to a tip to ensure you make truly informed consent before proceeding.

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Dealing with Regrets

The crisis is over, and you are now fine. Except you keep replaying in your mind a particular aspect of how you handled the crisis, wishing you’d said or done it differently (e.g., recognized a worrisome symptom sooner).

Rationally, you know you need to let it go and move on. It’s in the past. But your mind is fixated on it. What can you do?

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Celebrities' Cancer Stories

Stardom comes with power to influence others’ expectations and hopes, which marketers leverage to sell everything from reverse mortgages to wellness products. If you are a cancer patient, celebrities' cancer stories catch your attention in ways that hearing about neighbors' or friends-of-friends' diagnoses don't.

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Time Toxicity

Dr. Arjun Gupta and colleagues coined a term: time toxicity. It’s defined as”time spent in pursuing, receiving and recovering from cancer treatments.” Considering time toxicity matters when deciding on treatment, especially if dealing with advanced, incurable disease and hoping to buy a bit more time.

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