My mom’s friend offered me a small tray of cookies. I took one look, and yelled, “No!” The next day, I felt ashamed that I’d bitten the hand of someone treating me with lovingkindness. The episode taught me that illness could make me mean, and I didn’t like that.
I forgave myself but didn’t forget it.
The cookie episode happened when I was 7 years old, feverish, and unable to swallow due to painful tonsillitis. As core childhood experiences do, the episode sensitized me to the challenges of managing illness with kindness.
Today, as a patient, I believe sickness is not an excuse to be mean to anyone, especially to caregivers. I still have an obligation to be civil, unless I physically can’t (e.g., brain tumor; medication-induced psychosis). That said, illness can make ugly sides of me surface. When it does, I can apologize to the offended and forgive myself.
As a caregiver, I believe I have a right to be treated with respect, unless the patient physically cannot control what happens. Knowing how stress and pain can lower the threshold for ugly sides popping through, I draw boundaries, and I accept apologies in a way that helps the patient save face.
Illness is tough and can get ugly. Working to relate to others with love and respect is beautiful.
We welcome your comments! SEE COMMENTS UNDER COMMENT BOX (below)
Subscribe here for e-notifications of new posts. Privacy Policy: We collect only your name and email address—
and we do not share with anyone. You may unsubscribe easily at any time. For archives of older posts, click here.