A one-word substitution changed my mood and outlook so significantly that I had to post about it as soon as I could.
Last week, I woke up jazzed about the writing I planned to do. Late that afternoon, I called a friend from the parking lot of my 99-year-old mother’s retirement home, bemoaning, “I wrote only one paragraph before I had to come here.” She interrupted me mid-sentence: “You didn’t have to.”
My friend was wrong! I am my mother’s caregiver. Ensuring her needs are met had fallen to me since committing 14 years ago to care for her. When I got called about the new problem, I had to drop my work to address it.
My friend insisted. “No. You chose to go. You chose to address the issue immediately.”
Hmm. No gang dragged me to Mom’s apartment. No police car sat waiting at the curb to take me in to the station if I didn’t respond immediately. I chose to honor an earlier choice.
Perceiving my response as “my choice” changed everything. Taking ownership felt empowering and calming. My writing time had not been taken from me. I’d chosen to do something else.
For patients dealing with many medical demands (like appointments and activity/dietary restrictions), it is understandable if resentment bubbles up about losing time or opportunities because of illness. As a Healthy Survivor, reminding yourself that you are freely choosing your path to recovery may lessen the sadness, anger, or other negative emotions associated with those losses.
P.S. The book review promised in my 3/13/25 post will appear in a future post.
