The crisis is over, and you are now fine. Except you keep replaying in your mind a particular aspect of how you handled the crisis, wishing you’d said or done it differently (e.g., recognized a worrisome symptom sooner).
Rationally, you know you need to let it go and move on. It’s in the past. But your mind is fixated on it. What can you do?
As with almost everything about becoming a Healthy Survivor, you have to find what works for you (with assistance from others if needed). Here’s an approach that usually works for me:
Review: I spend a few minutes focused on the events to see whether I can learn anything that might be useful in the future.
Appreciate: If I learned something, I feel gratitude that the rough patch had meaning.
Make a plan: I decide how I will facilitate putting what I learned into practice.
Decide to let it go: I see “letting it go” as an active process. [see Helping Patients Let Go]
If my mind wanders back to the scenario, I…
Shut it down with self-talk [e.g., Stop! Thinking about it won’t help anything.]
Recommit to looking forward: [I envision the illustration below by Emma Mathes]
Distract myself: [e.g.,think of few of my favorite things, such as snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes]
Reboot my mood and focus with somethng ridiculous [e.g., sing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Defined as extraordinarily good or wonderful, it sure is for me because it really works for me. ]
Healthy Survivors do whatever it takes to live in the moment, with hope for tomorrow.
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