Yes or No: Give Your Doctor a Gift?

Some patients give holiday gifts to their doctors, nurses, physical therapists, or other professionals invoved in their health care. Gift-giving is NOT required or expected. So, should you? Or shouldn’t you?

If you want to give a small gift to a professional who cares for you throughout the year, do it. Why? Because when your desire reflects a deep sense of gratitude, giving a gift can be healing for you.

In Healing Gifts from Grateful Patients (an essay for clinicians), I share what Adam Smith, an 18th-century philosopher, wrote about the phenomenon:

When people become aware of an act of kindness toward them, they are hardwired to experience gratitude. This complex human emotion creates a sense of debt. The receiver's burden is relieved by returning kindness in some form or fashion to the person who was kind to them.

A few tips on the best gifts:

  • Greeting cards with handwritten notes

  • Donations in a clinician’s honor

  • Store-bought gifts with a maximum value of $20 (policy often prevents clinicians from accepting pricier gifts; expensive gifts can negatively impact the clinician-patient relationship)

  • Handmade gifts

For many reasons, clinicians may not respond the way you expected and may not send a thank-you note. My next post will offer possible explanations, most of which are wrapped up in the fact that doctor visits are not social visits. You’ve heard me say that in other contexts. We divulge things and do things we’d never do in social settings.

Still, there is a place for the social act of gift giving in clinical settings. A small gift born of gratitude confirms a truth we all need to hear and that is too easily lost in today's technology: The heart of medicine lies deep within clinician-patient bonds, connections defined by people helping people.

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