Hi Casey, So so sorry about Jordan’s diagnosis. You asked for tips on supporting a loved one through illness. Here are three:
1. Optimize Jordan’s sense of control. In addition to supporting her efforts to choose the best treatment course for her, help Jordan maintain as much control as she wants over the things within her control (within reason): e.g., what she eats, when she rests, and how she expresses her emotions.
2. Ask for assistance. Just because you can make the meals, do the laundry, and run all the errands doesn’t mean you should. Accept others’ offers to help. Save your energies for more important things.
3. Take care of you. Maintain your physical and emotional reserves. Find safe places to share your thoughts and feelings that need expression but might burden Jordan.
Heads up: It’s normal—and healthy—for patients to be totally self-absorbed during treatment and recovery. I remember a time (years after my final treatment) when I started to offer Ted an apology for having been so blind to the stresses on him. He interrupted me, insisting I’d helped him by focusing on myself and doing everything I could to get good care and find some happiness.
There’s a fine balance, though, between protecting Jordan from your stresses and shutting her out. Keep her in the loop about how you are, while reassuring her you’re getting the support you need.
I hope you can find ways every day to escape the seriousness together, even if only for two minutes. Watch fun tv shows together or take walks or whatever you both enjoy doing together. Those mini-holidays of togetherness open opportunities to grow stronger.
I’m here for you and Jordan. Text, email or call me whenever I can be of service. With love and hope,
Wendy
(names changed for privacy)
We welcome your comments! SEE COMMENTS UNDER COMMENT BOX (below)
Subscribe here for e-notifications of new posts. Privacy Policy: We collect only your name and email address—and we do not share with anyone. You may unsubscribe easily at any time. For archives of older posts, click here