In my writings on overcoming obstacles to hope, usually I address common thoughts or feelings about the future that make it difficult to find hope. What about thoughts or feelings about yesterday? Or about today?
I’ve been chewing on that since a friend shared a story from ancient literature about suffering slaves who felt no hope of freedom. Wanting to feel better about their life, they used self-talk to convince themselves, “Enslavement hasn’t been so terrible!”
My friend argued that the slaves’ lack of hope was not solely due to inability to imagine a better future. Part of the problem was the false story they were telling themselves about their past. I agree.
If while going through a rough patch, you reframe your horrible situation as “not so bad,” that interpretation might make it easier for you to persevere—which is great, if you feel hopeful about things improving or you feeling happier in the future. Problems arise, though, if self-talk makes it easier for you to let go of hope. After all, you with things “okay” now, you don’t need to imagine a better tomorrow, let alone muster the courage and fortitude needed to take the steps that increase your chance of a better tomorrow.
Hope is a feeling you have now
about the possibility of something good in the future.
Don’t quash the fire of negative emotions with false narratives if doing so leads you to let go of hope of a better tomorrow. Instead, use your anger, disappointment, sadness, and frustration to fuel hope that helps you accept the things you cannot change while changing the things you can.
Healthy Survivors USE negative emotions about today
to FUEL hope for a better tomorrow.
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