How often do you find yourself “choosing your battles”? You know, going along with someone’s undesirable plan of action instead of pushing back. Or, ignoring someone’s rudeness instead of calling out the infraction. In times of stress, it can be adaptive to let something slide that normally you wouldn’t tolerate.
If you keep letting things slide in the name of “choosing your battles,” you’re letting problems remain unaddressed. And, you may suffer from smoldering feelings of hurt, anger, frustration or impotence — even if only subconsciously, and even though you chose inaction as the best response for you.
Next time you are about to “choose your battle,” pause to ask if the conflict is necessarily a “battle.” Wartime terminology would scare anyone away from dealing with an issue. Might yours be a situation that calls for you to draw needed boundaries on someone’s actions? Might this be a time to gently mention the impact of others’ words, giving them a chance to apologize and maybe even opening an opportunity for you to discover they are stressed and then offer needed support?
If addressing a problem surely means starting a battle of the wills or wits, keep in mind that while inaction is the easier route, it may represent a lost opportunity to work things out and make things better for you—and for them—from now on. It may mean suffering microaggressions against your sense of self-worth. As a Healthy Survivor, choose your battles with short-term and long-term effects in mind.
May you find…
* serenity to accept things that are not worth trying to fix now,
* courage to address things that are worth the effort, and
* wisdom to know the difference.
We welcome your comments! SEE COMMENTS UNDER COMMENT BOX (below)
Subscribe here for e-notifications of new posts. Privacy Policy: We collect only your name and email address—and we do not share with anyone. You may unsubscribe easily at any time. For archives of older posts, click here